University

Here's a sculpture for you. A ram. Because I'm an Aries in horoscope. It's my first real one ever, I made it a couple of years ago - the materials are clay and acrylic paint.

My friend as commander Shepard. She's a fan of Mass Effect, this was my birthday card for her. She liked it.

Oh yeah, I'm in university now. Started this week. But I'm reaally tired and don't feel like writing about it. I can tell you though that this week has been veery strange for me, because I'm not used to being alone. Well, I'm not completely alone actually, I have my two lovely dogs here to keep me company. But I'm pretty talkative and I don't like it that I always have to call someone if I want to chat. I've made a _lot_ of phone calls this week.

Ugh.

My senior high is almost over... Now I have to study for the university entrance exams and make my sample works. (For fine arts academy) And I have absolutely no time for anything else. 8< But of course it's very important and it's only for a little while.. But it still makes me a bit sad not being able to do all kinds of fun stuff I'd like to now in spring.. Like spending a lot of time outdoors and drawing or painting things I like. Now I only have time for my sample works, which aren't nearly as fun as my "own art"

I've applied to four art universities (three of them are universities of applied sciences and one is the Finnish academy of fine arts) and several other universities. (to study English, history or theology) My current plans for the sample works of the fine arts academy are two sculptures. I was going to paint something too, but now I don't think I have enough time.

Not-so-random randomness

Hmm, it's been long since my last entry.. (again!) I guess I'm a pretty lazy blog 

writer. : P But hey, I made you comics to compensate my resent slackness!

Yeah, I'm drawing myself as both human and crestie now : D

I still prefer the doggie, though.

A lot of things have happened.. And I haven't told you any of it D: But at least I wanted to say something about christmas, even though it's kind of late already. (It's so important to me! I couldn't just ignore it)

AND I had my penkkarit! I was so incredibly excited about them. But my costume took forever to make. I made a Moomintroll costume all by myself. It was harded to make than I thought, but really worth the trouble! It was so fun to be a moomin! And all the kids loved me : D

Info for the possible non-Finnish readers: in Finland we have this thing called "Penkkarit" (short for "penkinpainajaiset") which is a party held for (and by) the high school seniors who have finished their schoolwork. It's not a graduation party, because we still have matriculation exams and we have to study for them. (The graduation is at the beginning of summer) But we have finished the courses and have no classes anymore, so our "real schoolwork" is over and the whole school celebrates that for a day. : D It's a bit like a carnival. The seniors dress up in funny costumes and walk around the school tossing candy to the younger students, act all silly and have fun. Finally we drive around the town in a truck and visit the other schools and nurseries to toss some candy to the children too.

The next day I and three of my best friends went to a little trip to a nice spa - we stayed there for the weekend. It was kind of an extension to the party : D Most of the others from our school went to a cruise.. But we didn't want to go there, because none of us drinks alcohol and we knew that the cruise wasn't going to be much about anything else than getting extremely drunk. So we arranged our own trip! And we had a great deal of fun too. I fell in love with the spa's super-long water slide.

Watching TV with mom:

I quess this will have to do for now. 

The first picture promised you some random stuff... But this wasn't so random after all 83 I'm a horrible liar.

Getting ready for Father's Day

Father's Day is coming again! (here in Finland it's tomorrow) I'm making a cake and a card for my dear dad, just like every year. I've already bought him two presents too, but I won't tell about them just yet! (Just in case he'd read this.. He knows about me keeping a blog and he has seen me writing here.) Obviously I'm very busy at the moment so I won't write more this time, but I'll show you a sketch of the card.

I'm drawing a draenei from the World of Warcraft. : D My dad plays the game and draenei is his favorite race.

Animal photography

I really want to get a good camera so I could take better pictures of animals : <

I took this photo many years ago, and it's one of my favorite horse photos. Mainly because I loved that time of my life and it contains wonderful memories to me, but also because I find the pose funny.

This is just something I made because I was extremely bored and feeling a bit blue. Nothing like a bull terrier to cheer you up! : D The picture quality is horrible, I know, but these are just some old photos I found and quickly put together. The dogs are both female bull terriers, the white one is Lumi, the same dog my first entry was about, and the other one is Eben, our younger bullie. This smiley expression is actually fairly common to them, they make it everyday whenever they want to seem lovable and get some attention and care. It usually includes some laugh-like snorting noises too. It's impossible not to laugh when they do that!

Just so you know: Lumi isn't really missing any teeth, it just looks a bit like that 'cause her tongue or lip is covering some of the teeth or something.



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Infernal pain

8'D I've always wanted to use the word "infernal" somewhere. (YES! I've done it)

Seriously now, I've probably never experienced such physical pain as I did yesterday, when I had a whole toenail pulled off. The nail was so sick and infected already that the anesthesia didn't work.

I'd love to tell you the whole story later, but right now I don't have enough time. But I'll show you this sketch I made just minutes ago:

Later:

So, here comes the story of my bloody toe. Don't read it if you can't stand mental images of blood, pain or other disgusting things. It's not so pretty.

I've had problems with the nail of my right hallux for over an year now. All kinds of nasty things you can imagine: cracking, darkening, softening, stink... Horrible. I've tried everything I could imagine. Cutting, medication, ointments and stuff, but nothing worked, so I just waited to see if it would just heal itself over time. But few days ago the whole nail got brown and cracked badly and I thought that it was quite clear that it was never going to heal again. So I went to a doctor and asked if it should be removed. She told me that it was the only way to get a healthy nail and I decided to let them do it. But I didn't know that it was going to hurt so much- if I would have known, I maybe wouldn't have done it. I'm quite sensitive to pain and afraid of doctors hurting me, because of my bad doctor memories from the childhood. This just made things worse, of course. Even though I know it's irrational and not true, (at least in most cases) I feel like the doctors are sadistic and always just want to hurt me as much as they can. : P

Well, as I said before the removal did hurt. Like hell, I tell you. The main reason was that the anesthesia didn't work well (they used 4 syringes but it just made the skin numb) because the toe was inflamed and the nail was so sick already. It wasn't so bad at first but when they started to pull the nail off harder and it started to hurt real bad I asked them if they could use more anesthetic. They just said that it wouldn't help and that they didn't have time, and that they just wanted to get the whole thing out of the way. (What a nice thing to hear, when you're scared and in pain, really.) So they continued and I was in a bit of a panic but remained quite calm anyway. Actually I'd say I took it well. As I said, I'm usually sensitive to pain and for that some people think I'm wimpy but I just kept thinking that it's nothing I couldn't stand, that it won't last forever and things like that. Sure I was shaking and stuff but I stayed still and quiet. : D (Or quiet most of the time, at least) The other reason that made the removal hurt more and last longer was that the nail was so soft and in such a bad shape that it didn't come off in one piece. It shattered to many several pieces and they had to remove them one by one.

And now I have a huge bandage around the toe and I'm not allowed to walk for at least three days, because walking makes it bleed more. It'll take about half an year of more until the new nail is grown. At the moment I'm mostly pissed by the bleeding and pain that I get whenever I move the darn foot. (And of course the fact that I can't do anything or go anywhere.. I can't go to school, though I have a million urgent things and projects waiting there.) Tomorrow morning is the first time I need to clean the wound and change the bandages.. I already fear the time when I'll see the wound. I haven't seen it yet but I'm sure it's not pretty. I don't want to see a giant hole where my nail should be : <

Well, that's the whole story for you. Wasn't it wonderful. I know I'm maybe taking it too seriously but for me it feels just horrible.. And that makes me think that I'm being ridiculous. It's only a nail, after all.


Can you believe that I just wrote such a long entry merely about one of my toes? 8'D

I'm so bored

All my plans for this weekend failed : < But then again, now I have lots of time for drawing for once.

A sketch I made today.. I just couldn't get the ground-touching legs right so I left them out. But I'll try again later and if I can make them work I might use this sketch to make a finished, colored drawing.

I looove Tove Jansson and her novels and art. This is a quick little fan art pick of Seafilly, one of the characters of her moomin stories. I hate the way her body turned out and I wasn't even going to put this here but I really like the coloring and the shape of the mane and tail so because of them I decided to accept it.

Trolls

You know, I'm a real master of accidents. For example, I have a woodcarving in progress at school and on the previous lesson  few days ago I made a big, bleeding wound to my left thumb. Today was the turn of my right hand: I got a huge, needle sharp stick stuck deep under the nail of my little finger. Even better, I couldn't get it off myself no matter how I tried so my teacher had to pull it off. I felt a bit embarrassed.
Now the nail/finger is having an inflammation on it's way.. It's all hot and aching. (pulsating pain) This day hasn't been very nice otherwise either, because I was supposed to go the library to return some books and get new ones but I traveled 60km to town just to notice that the library is closed until Monday because of some stupid education stuff the library staff is having. I'm reading Michelle Paver's wonderful Chroncles of the ancient darkness at the moment and I finished reading Soul eater (the third book) yesterday. I would have borrowed the next book today but now I have to wait over the whole weekend. I'm so excited to know what happens next that it feels almost like torture.

But today I was also thinking about what should I draw for my dad's father's day card. There's only a week left until the Finnish father's day. I want to do something real special this year- something my dad would really like, 'cause I really like my dad. : D I've been thinking about drawing our dogs or my dad's favorite book/movie/game characters... I don't know. I'm still waiting for some great idea. But I should really make something up already, so that I have enough time to do it properly. I think I'll color it with pencils, 'cause I really need to focus more on the traditional art techniques.

Now I'm going to go and watch a movie with my dad : ) It's our weekly thing that if both of us are home we watch a movie together at Friday night.

But before I go, here are today's sketches. Trolls this time. Troll women, to be exact.

Some poetry

A few of my poems translated to English.


There's nothing more beautiful

Great cushions of velvet
so full of life

The master of smooth symmetry
has sewn them together without a seam

They are warm of life
they foam of speed

after moving like they are meant to move

eternity as their rythm,

more perfectly than anything in this world
that has ever been born or built






Traveler

My treasure is lost
My harbor I have to leave

My bearer has grown away from me

and I have no map

I find myself
a rather tired, defenceless explorer






Song of praise

Between the green deeps,
over the stone mounds

ever closer to the home of my soul

You will take me, my little friend

lift with your origin strength
carry with your stark spirit

to the grass and blooming trees

your hooves of rock
your mighty muscles

they know which way to go




As you maybe noticed, the first and the last poems tell about horses. I wrote the first one when I was watching a galloping horse and Song of praise describes some feelings I have about horses and riding. I tried to express how important they are in my life, so the journey in the poem symbolises life.

This can't be happening

Noo... D8 I missed my bus because of that exam. It took much longer than I thought it would.. And the next bus goes so late that I won't be home before midnight! (I have over 100km way to home)  : ( And my school's burglar alarm gets on in the evening so I can't even wait here the whole time. I don't know what I should do.

Well, since I'm not going anywhere for a while I can spend the time I have before the alarms here in the computer class.

Later: My mom saved me and came to get me with her car : D Parents are good to have.

Here's the pretty smile of my little crested boy Uni 8D

Time flies

I've been ignoring this blog again for far too long. Now it's time to write at least something again : D (And in the previous entry I promised to try being more active.. ha!)

The pictures, they shall come first!

Here's my best Chinese crested pic so far, and I'm quite proud of it. Though now I see so many mistakes that  I should have noticed when I was coloring it : <  But that's how you learn!

I made this T. Rex for my little brother (It's a birthday card- he turned 10.) who's completely nuts about dinosaurs. I think it looks ok, but it could have been better if I hadn't done it in a rush as I did.

This, in turn, was made for my friend's birthday : DD She's really interested in astrology and she's a Leo in horoscope. I like this pic a lot, even though it's so simple and everything.. I just felt so nice and relaxed drawing it. I wish I'd always feel like that when I draw.

Oh wow, my first artsy thing in this blog that isn't a drawing! This is something I had to do for my arts class at school. We were all given a photo of a leopard and told to cut it to pieces. Then we had to make a new picture of those pieces and this idea just instantly popped to my mind. Maybe because I had been watching the movie 101 Dalmatians that week.. Hmm.

That's all the pics for now.. And then a little something about other things.

I've been in a pretty bad mood for the last weeks. I don't really know why. (Or actually there are lots of small things that I think might be causing it.. But I'd rather have just one bigger thing to blame so it would be easier to do something about it. Without having to change my entire life, 'cause that isn't of course even possible.) I'm so tired and tensed up all the time that I get real angry or real sad for even the slightest of issues and I hate it. (I've especially been raging for my mom, and I feel awful about it 'cause my bad mood isn't her fault. Even though she can be real difficult or annoying at times.) I'm been trying to get over it by sleeping more and focusing on doing stuff I like.. But it hasn't helped yet. Instead it has made me quite solitary, since "the stuff I like" means (at the moment) mostly reading, drawing, and watching movies. And sleeping, as was already mentioned. It's odd, for I've never really cared so much for sleeping before. I was always the kind of kid who wanted to go to bed as late as possible and get up as early as possible to maximize the time for playing and all.. Sleeping seemed like a waste of time. But at the moment I just _love_ it. I wish I could sleep for months, like the Moomins. : D (There's not much in the world I hate more than being angry/sad, and sleep is an excellent way to escape from that). But I'm quite sure I'll change my mind again when I'm back to my normal state.

Oh well, maybe I'll just try ignore the whole thing and wait for it to pass. I don't think it's such a big deal after all.

Agh, I'd like to write more now when I started but I guess I have to go to bed.. : C I'm going to have an exam  in Swedish tomorrow. I'll tell you how it went... maybe >8D One can never completely trust my promises to write here, or so it seems.

I'm alive!

Wow. It's been so long since my last entry.. I've been so busy with everything else that I just forgot about this whole blog. (And when I remembered it again, I was just plain lazy : D) But I think I'll try to be more active from now on, though I have so many time-consuming things happening right now that I can't promise anything. It's just two weeks to my first matriculation exams. I will have exams of English, philosphy and religion. And I'm going to move! My whole family is moving to the countryside next month. I'm really excited about the place, there's a little stable for two or three horses and lots of space. (I also like the house a lot) We are going to buy at least two in the summer, and I'm so happy to think that I'm actually going to have my own horse again.. I've missed having one since we sold our trakehner mare about two years ago.

I don't have time to write much more now, because I have to study for my practise exam tomorrow, but here come the pictures!

The colored version of my chinese crested lineart, my fursona : D

A pic made for my dad's birthday. It's John Marston from my dad's favourite video game Red dead redemption on the kentucky saddler.

A bull terrier

And some fluffiness

Excitement (plus some sketches)

There's so many exciting things happening in my life right now that it's hard to decide what to look forward the most. : D Firstly, I'm going to a nice field trip tomorrow! My school has arranged a trip to Jyväskylä (200 kilometres away from my home) to visit an event in the university of Jyväskylä where they introduce the university to senior high school students. We will also visit a chocolate factory. 8D The bus leaves at 7:00 AM from our school so I think I'm going to bed early tonight. It's going to be fun! My dad and my little brother gave me all their pocket money to buy chocolate from the factory for them : D

Another thing that I find quite exciting is that I've applied for the lions club youth exhange program. We had an info about it on monday and I returned the application form today. The exhange is going to be about 3-6 weeks in the summer and those who are chosen to participate will get 500€ for the tickets. (If they cost more than that, you have to pay the rest by yourself) There's four of us who are applying to it and they will only choose one or two.. So obviously I'm really nervous and excited right now.

And then the third source of excitement: father's day is only two days ahead! My dad is really important to me, and this year I have a perfect gift for him: the latest published album from his favourite comic book writer. I'm also making a card and a cake, like I do every year. : ) I can't wait to see his face when he sees them- he's not expecting a present from me this year. But I wouldn't skip father's day for anything. It's a tradition. And I think parents deserve some extra attention once a year. After all, without them we wouldn't exist. : D


Finally, some sketches from my notebook:

A horsie of course : D A bit more finished than the other ones, but I still call it "a sketch" 'cause it's done on cross-ruled paper. Ignore my psychology notes.

I like this lineart so I think I might make a colored version. With GIMP.

Ooh, colors! : D

Ratt. :3 I like rats. They make wonderful pets. I used to own two male pet rats (named Vihtori and Silvennoinen) but they died some time ago. : <  I have thought about buying new ones but I don't know.. Maybe in the future.

Pixx

Heh, sorry for the stupid title.

So, here comes my very first blog entry with art ! I don't have much time to write right now so this entry will be pretty much about these two pics.

Here's the first one:

It's Gin/Silver Fang (the version I prefer most is Finnish Hopeanuoli : D Basicly because I learned to know him by that name when I was little) from Ginga Nagareboshi Gin. (My favourite manga/anime) This is probably my first proper drawing of him ever. My fav character of the story is Ben, though. I should make a picture of him too!



And then the other one:

A shetland pony! I love horses. And drawing them. They're my most common subject to draw, I think. I like the way the pony looks but I don't like the background.. One should never make backgrounds in a rush. They turn out like this. : D Well, I'll try to make a decent one next time. : > It was very fun to color a black pony! I liked it a lot. I think I'm going to draw a lot of black horses in the near future. 8D


Both of the pics were made using GIMP.

Poems

I originally wrote these in Finnish but translated them for this blog.


Sundial

Suddenly I see

how pure the cold is

when, awaken by the snow,
the white flashes bubble
as smile-covered memories

that will stay in the bottom of
your stomach

to move agitatedly around
The blissful, painful nostalgy

Just like

the sun will climb up to enchant

all the conifer sisters
120 minutes of magic

and the blue shadows of the trees
are dancing, floating on their bedspread

like sundials




About insignificant things

Oh, sparrow
we've never been equal

You've always been

the brighter star

I've always been
an observer, I think

Not avoided, but still
tepid?

For always,
your little things
are bigger than my big things

and that's probably the reason

you make me feel like

you don't want me
smiling around you

but you know,
I always smiled for you





And the world would be too beautiful if

Listen,

the moon is throwing it's capes
jingling softly

to stars above the world

Look,

in the bottom of the sea

we'll caress the turqoise seaweed
that's composing us

a song about sea anemones
on it's beautiful coral bed

I always love the feeling..

...when I'm writing the very first words to a new diary or a blog. The feeling of starting something.

So, here's my new blog. The old one is closed now- I made a new one 'cause I wanted to start writing in English. (So all my friends in deviantart could read it, basically. Well, of course I enjoy writing in English, too. Hehe.) And I also wanted to change the name and theme of the blog- this one will focus more on my artsy stuff. Of course I'll still be writing about my life and thoughts too but you'll see a lot of sketches, drawings, poems and that kind of stuff. I'll just dump everything here. 8D

Well, yesterday my whole family had a real scare. Our elder bull terrier Lumi (4 years old) got a strange, severe allergic reaction all of a sudden. It was about 10:30 PM when my dad noticed her acting nervously. Lumi had these large, red circles (looked like some kind of abscess) rising all over her skin and her eyes were almost swollen shut. She had troubles breathing and she whined and ran around our house and tried to rub her skin and face to everything. (Like the couch, the curtains and my dad's coat for example) We, of course, were frightened because we didn't know what was troubling her and tried to find out if she had eaten something dangerous. My brother thought she was going to die because she looked and sounded so terrible. We gave her an allergy pill and my mother called the vet to ask what we should do. We were advised to take her to the veterinary in attendance if we were really worried. We decided to do so, just in case. I couldn't have slept for the whole night if we hadn't. It was about 11:00 PM when we left and it took us almost an hour to get there. All the time I was hoping it would turn out well, I had promised my brother we would bring her back alive and healthy. When Lumi got to the chilly carrier (we had left it outside and it was freezing cold) her breathing settled down. The cold seemed to ease her condition.

For my relief, the vet said that it wasn't anything real dangerous, though it looked bad. It was a common allergic thing dogs often get in the fall, caused by something they get from outdoors and Lumi was going to survive. She gaved her a cortisone injection and told that it would make her really thirsty and a little bit tired but she wouldn't have those rough symptoms anymore, though the skin thingies might relapse before they finally disappear. Then we took the sleepy patient to car, drove home and were extremely happy to know that Lumi was all right.

And now, to conclude my very first blog entry, I'll show you a picture of our little convalescent:

She's been very tired today, but the red things are gone and no more symptoms have appeared.